It all started off when a highly militarized member of pig society spoke to me about the need for armed resistance against continued Angry Bird incursions, but with much improved Bird-Pig relations shown in both Angry Birds: Stella and Angry Birds: Transformers, the Pigineering Department went beyond the call of bacon and voluntarily doubled as King Pig’s diplomatic office.
Did you know how hard it is to broker a ceasefire with the Angry Birds?
Within the span of an afternoon, words were minced, tempers calmed, and through intense diplomatic pressure pushing the virtues of succulent bacon hand in hand with delicious fried chicken all on the same plate, deadly rocket launchers soon morphed into a wonderful new dual-pork-pose product for leisure and transport – the mighty Rock-It Lawn Chair! As seen on YouSnout!
Too exhausted to get out of bed because you partied all night? Sick of your significant other calling you a “lazy pig” all day? Simply stick a match under your Rock-It Lawn Chair and instantly transform everyone’s perceptions in a single BANG!
Cata-pork from sty-space to workplace at super-pig speeds and outpace all of ’em land-locked Road Hogs far below as you carve your very own trail of smoke and fire across the cosmos like your last name was all along Gagarin.
Purchase yours TODAY and get two free cupholders plus we’ll even throw in a free refill of unsymmetrical dimethyl hydrazine and nitrogen tetroxide! It’s so toxic you might even glow a shade of green! What are you waiting for!? Buy it NOW and you could go to Mars and back from the comfort of your very own Rock-It Lawn Chair! It’s just like the Tesla Spaceship, only pigger!
“I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky. BUT HOW DO I LAND THIS THING AAHHHHHH!”
Engineer’s Notes:
Landing system not included in package. Vehicle shown in video required in excess of a hundred retries before successful flight. Mileage may vary.
Proficiency in Kerbal Space Program highly recommended before attempting assembly of and flight in unsymmetrical furniture-like aircraft!
Idea credits 100% go to Oskar, our loyal Facepork fan!