The Punny Pig Place (Jokes)

[Justadoo444]

Note: This thread has been recreated from an “old” thread. It may be worthwhile to check the previous thread for even more silly puns! Click here to go there!

Are you looking to make a Fat Pig joke? Head to The Fat Pig Forum!

—Welcome to the Punny Pig Place—

Serve up your best Piggy-related crack-ups, belly laughs, and knee-slappers here!

King Pig jokes must NOT be about his royal girth here! Those kinds of jokes go in “The Fat Pig Forum”, linked above.

Funnies created by Rovio’s “Angry Birds Toons” Maker are also welcome!

Good-Time Jukebox (Good to go with jokes)

– April Showers by ProleteR

– No Good Gofers Pinball (Main Theme) by Vince Pontarelli

– Yakety Sax by James Q. “Spider” Rich and Homer “Boots” Randolph III

More may be added later. Enjoy!

Topic

[Les Toreadors]

Why did the bacon cross the road?
Cos it didn’t want to get eaten for breakfast!

[SweetP]

FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you?
SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

[SweetP]

Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend’s door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he asked, “Fred, how’d that pig get him a wooden leg?”

“Well, Michael, that’s a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin’, went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!”

“And the boar tore up his leg?”

“No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin’ like he was stuck, woke us up, and ‘fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved ’em all!”

“So that’s when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?”

“No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out ‘fore I drownded. Sure did save my life.”

“And that was when he hurt his leg?”

“Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too.”

“OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?”

“Well”, the farmer tells him, “A pig like that, you don’t want to eat all at once!”

[Justadoo444]

How do the Pigs get around?

Using long Hamborghinis.

[SeasonsKing]

Why did Chef Pig turn into a snail at the end of the episode, ‘Pig Plot Potion’?

Because he was too slow!

[Les Toreadors]

A few pigs were patiently waiting in a clean room to see the Doctor. The room had the air conditioning turned up to max and it was freezing cold, so the pigs huddled together. Finally, the receptionist called the next patient in line…

“Mister Chris P. Bacon, please proceed to the grill immediately.”

Some time later, the fragrant aroma of of Crispy Bacon filled the air.

[yimmy7]

Why can the pigs power wheels in Bad Piggies?

Because they’re shockingly slow!

[Les Toreadors]

@yimmy7 lol. And they don’t actually have hands to crank the wheels either do they :)

[Les Toreadors]

I watched BBC’s Victorian Farm documentary and the pigs were the liveliest animals on the farm. They run around all over the place and squeal delightfully.

However they had an issue with pigs stealing eggs from ducks and chickens! And thus had to keep the pigs separate from the other animals.

[Justadoo444]

There was a pig so blind, that when he was mining for gems to give to King Pig in exchange for Red Bird’s eyebrows (Hypno-Pigs – See HERE) he thought that most of the birds were in the mine when he hit jackpot with TONS of Rubies, Gold, Diamonds, Coal, Quartz, Emeralds, Amber, and Athemyst. He mined the Athemyst and ran!
(See here for gem colors.)

[Les Toreadors]

@justadoo444 – I am surprised he didn’t go for the Larimar as in your most informative link, Larimar looks exactly like an egg in Bad Piggies!

[Justadoo444]

@les-toreadors Nice discovery! But there was no larimar in the cave

[Les Toreadors]

By @king-bird:

Q: What will happen if Fat Pig drinks an orange potion and multiple blue potions?

[SeasonsKing]

The End Of The World!!!

[Les Toreadors]

Lol, in short, yes.

In typical Jeremy Clarkson-esque bombastic format I answered the question somewhat like this:

1) Fat Pig is originally the size of the Moon and the orange potion makes him assume the size and mass of Jupiter.

2) The blue potion duplicates the enormous giant pig and that’s when things start to get cataclysmic.

3) Intense gravitational forces cause the multitude of giant pigs to disintegrate into minced pork and implode into itself causing a Bacon Explosion.

4) This disastrous “Big Bang” is responsible for creating the universe as we know it today.

I have no idea how supernovas and black holes work but it sounds awesome… I mean, how a Bacon Explosion created the universe. That’s delicious.

[DH Kim]

@Les-Toreadors The potions won’t change the mass of the Pig at all and it will even cause the density of the pig; As far as I know, low density might cause the star(yes, pig) to change into a white dwarf and disappear.

[Les Toreadors]

As far as I know, low density might cause the star(yes, pig) to change into a white dwarf and disappear.

OMG. That means it is scientifically correct for a large, low density pig to go ‘poof’ and disappear giving the Angry Birds 5,000 points :D

[SeasonsKing]

Yeah, I’m hungry too.

Imagine if it’s an omelet explosion. :P

[Justadoo444]

From the Ode To Snow song in the Toons channel (Or the video version if it ever gets onto Youtube) , when “Mouscrooge” pig says the line “Oh, Winter is a bore”, right when he says that, a picture comes onto the screen depicting some wild boars chasing him. Homophones for the laughs!

[Les Toreadors]

Why did they make King Pig triangular in AB:Toons?

My answer: Because triangles are easier to stack up in multiple layers for shipping to Siberia.

[Dr. Daryl]

So my friend asked me this a long time ago

Q: How did Fatty become so fat?
A: He ate several Minion Piggies who drank 100 orange potions and his clone, but that’s scary tho`

[Les Toreadors]

The King Pig is so fat he needs 5 other vehicles to pull his chair around.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=613380295384095&set=pcb.613381875383937&type=1&theater

[Justadoo444]

Just imagine El Porkador and Elvis singing side by side…
“Deflecting birds in my blue suede shoes”

[Les Toreadors]

El Pork is totally awesome!

Didn’t expect him to be the same consistency as a beanbag pillow though. It started off so well :)

[Les Toreadors]

The Fat Pig is so fat that when he traversed the Panama Canal, he linked the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans together!