The Bloated Pig - A Place for Weary Flingers Page 3052
  • 159794 Comments
  • Brian NBrian N
    Hey, I'm doing a @kathy, loads of posts at the end of the page just to get the crown.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Man the pages are skipping by these days. It's all down to your chit-chat @catsnbirds.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Just remember, it's quantity not quality that counts. Here's my earworm of the day...

    https://youtu.be/YvHZToOUG2U
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    @twiggy having a bad night so up at all hours.
    I haver never never been able to see what all the hot fuss is about the Killers.
    Ooh, see what I did there?
    Enjoyed The Hundred finals @briann. Thought Liam Livingston was going to do it. What a way to get out.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Does that make the puppy count 14-13 to you @briann? Think we were level last time I looked.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Certainly better than the eliminator. Livingston's dismissal was definitely the turning point just when he was in 'beast mode'. Did you see his ton against Pakistan? Let him open for the test team. He might be out for 30 off 15 balls but that's better than current incumbents. Though Burns is doing OK.

    As for the puppy count not sure, you may be right.
  • catsnbirdscatsnbirds
    Ah, @briann , I have spent years enjoying the lurkers lounge set up. Comfort, semi-privacy, quick access to the BP refreshments…AND…the security system that shows all of the activities. Birds in the aviary, rats in the walls, visitors from around the world.
  • HunnybunnyHunnybunny
    @captrec is def a serial killer, not a lovely man who works with children and raises money for charity. Just ask him how he tried to kill his wife by pushing her off a swing!
  • Brian NBrian N
    Rats in the walls @catsnbirds. Who's in charge of maintenance down there?

    Think he's too busy planning his next murder @hunnybunny. Death by swing eh? Definitely getting a Dexter vibe here.
  • catsnbirdscatsnbirds
    @briann The rats in the walls are very friendly. They were brought in by @rat9 , King of Space!
  • ixan57ixan57
    @brianN you have a lot of past page reading to do.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Yeah, I'm gonna need more than a pygama day to catch up with that lot. Speaking of Princess Pygamas, you weren't kidding about that storm. Hope ur hatches are battened down.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Oh @twiggy, go to bed. Talking of rats in the walls, I once had a stimulating experience in an old house I used to rent when I was young. As I poured out my breakfast cereal I heard a scrabbling noise. Something was in the box fighting against the flow of the flakes to avoid being tipped out into the bowl. It was a mouse. I left it in the box and liberated it on the way to work in a small bit of woodland, along with the rest of the cereal for a snack.
    This is the house that once had a plague of flying ants that were so bad I could literally just hoover them straight out of the air.
    Happy days.
  • Brian NBrian N
    I remember back in the day cereal companies used to put a toy in with the food. Are you sure it wasn't Nesquik trying to get one over on it's rivals?

    Anyways don't mention flying ants to my mum and dad they get plagued with them every summer. The ant man is less than useless. "Ooh I don't know where they're coming from." - - ZAP - - (It isn't Paul Rudd BTW, he's actually quite useful). Thankfully they're getting a move soon. My parents that is. Think the ants are staying.

    So did you empty the ants out in the woods along with a sugary snack?
  • Brian NBrian N
    Nice to have a theme day isn't it? Staying on topic saw some crazy rabbit behaviour today(no, not the usual offender). It was just running up and down the middle of a country lane. I know when they're threatened by aerial predators they zigzag and head for the nearest field. I managed to avoid it and it wasn't limping or anything.
    Maybe our resident bunny sychologist can shed some light on this strangeness. Now if you don't mind I have to nip out for a silent P.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Do you craft these posts for months in advance?
  • Brian NBrian N
    Yes @desperatedan. I had a premonition 2 months ago that you would mention a mouse in a cereal box and flying ants in the same post. The rest was easy, though a mad rabbit turning up today was a Brucey bonus.
  • TomPussTomPuss
    @BrianN Yes indeed, and we went up there, it’s fantastic. Just as you see it here:

    "Final problem" in 4 parts:

    https://youtu.be/CmDS8IX-LBc

    https://youtu.be/4c1pxZ66UmE

    https://youtu.be/Y_qDuvJeLcI

    https://youtu.be/6V9ApSbilwM

  • HunnybunnyHunnybunny
    Ah @catsnbirds Sherlock
    We saw Jeremy Brett in nearly last stage performance of Sherlock before he died
    And Thursday we saw another Sherlock, Benedict Cumberbact (I gave it my best shot, only he knows how to spell it) at the cinema! The Courier, excellent film
  • HunnybunnyHunnybunny
    And I thought I was mad
    You lot are off the scale
  • HunnybunnyHunnybunny
    An Englishman walks into an American Walmart
    “I would like to buy a Kinder Egg for my four year old daughter”
    “Sorry, Kinder Eggs are banned in the US, as they contain toys that the child could choke on, if you are not a lovely and careful parent”
    Four year old burst into tears
    “OK, I’ll take two MP5 machine guns and 5000 rounds of ammo instead “
  • Brian NBrian N
    Wayhey, two mad rabbits in one day. What are the chances? You got the Benedict bit right anyway. He is such a brilliant actor, have you seen him in anything duff, or even mediocre? I don't think I have.
    Patrick Melrose was superb, really tough watch because of the subject matter but BC was terrific in it.
  • Brian NBrian N
    I think that's why Nesquik stopped putting mice in their cereal boxes. Must've been alot of fun in the factory trying to get them in there. Gives pest control a whole new meaning.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Hi @tompuss I too remember the Jeremy Brett version. I've noticed you mention Switzerland from time to time. Is it a place you've lived or just like to visit?
  • catsnbirdscatsnbirds
    Ah, Cumberbatch. My current favorite actor. Love him in anything, but really a fan of his Sherlock.
  • Brian NBrian N
    He was also good as Dominic Cummings in a drama about Brexit. Given what old Dom has been up to since scope for a part 2 there methinks.
  • KathyKathy
    Happy Birthday @Jlz666
    Pictures don't work anymore, so this is the best i can do
    https://angrybir.de/2LQUxLD
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    But a drug fiend.
    Holmes, not Kumberbach.
  • TomPussTomPuss
    @BrianN We discovered Wengen in the Bernese Oberland back in the ‘70s, so perfect that we went there every year. Wish we could live there but would have to win millions on the lottery to do so!
    We live in the Paris region of France.
  • Brian NBrian N
    We'd have to win the lottery to live in Paris.
  • TomPussTomPuss
    @BrianN we live to the southeast, near Orly.
    Paris was lovely when we first arrived. . but new so spoiled as to be unrecognizable. So many charming places knocked down, giving way to the concrete jungle.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Like most cities I guess. The older I get the more I like a rural environment. I do like Switzerland though, even the flag is a big plus.
  • Brian NBrian N
    You do know it's actually Cu'mberpatch? Short for cucumber patch. How do like your eggs Benedict?
  • Brian NBrian N
    Groan quotient went up a few notches there. See when you're playing Angry Birds and you get a score you've been chasing for weeks. Do you ever find yourself punching the air and shouting. "They said it couldn't be done!"?... Just me then?
  • Brian NBrian N
    Really embarrassing when it happens in a public library.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Speaking of inappropriate outbursts. A friend of mine once took their kids to an aquarium and one of them came running up from the octopus tank shouting "Mum, look at the size of these testicles!" Awkward.
  • HunnybunnyHunnybunny
    A teacher is addressing her class
    “Tomorrow is the most important exam of your life. You must turn up. The only acceptable excuses are debilitating illness or the death of a close family member”
    A cheeky lad chimes in “Supposing I had complete sexual fatigue?”
    She replies “You could try writing with the other hand...”
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    Back on form @hunnybunny.
    Reminds me of Buster Gonad and his unfeasibly large testicles in Viz @brianN. Enormous due to being zapped by a cosmic ray so he had to transport them in a wheelbarrow. Has a mention in the British Medical Journal apparently.
  • ixan57ixan57
    The Brillo factory got broken into last night. Police said the are scouring the area
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    I'm just not going to explain this @kathy.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Hey @hunnybunny, I don't get your joke. Could you explain it in detail? (titter).
  • Brian NBrian N
    Billy the Fish and the Fat Slags were my Viz faves. I also have cousins called Sharon and Tracey.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Nice clean joke there @ixan57. Makes up for u know who.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Have just spent the last 10 mins crying with laughter reading Wikipedia page on Viz.
    First ever issue 20p(30p for students).
  • Brian NBrian N
    There's a lot about Viz I didn't know or had forgotten. Didn't even know it was still going. For a while it seems they had a strip about Elton John as a Del Boy type always looking for dodgy schemes to make money on the fly. Whether this goes back to the time when he was declared bankrupt and had to auction his clothes etc. I don't know.
    But there was an episode where he nicked someone's window cleaning round but ended up accused of being a peeping Tom and got a kicking from the locals.
    Serves Him right I say.
  • Brian NBrian N
    Speaking of Buster Gonad, I remember seeing a documentary about a man with 10 st testicles. (By that I mean they weighed 10 stone, not that he had 10 testicles made of stone--just wanted to clear that up). Wonder if he was zapped by a cosmic ray? Doesn't sound very cosmic does it? Now if it had zapped his willy!?
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    I'm sure @hunnybunny has a suitable joke...
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    I loved Black Bag – "The faithful border bin liner". A sentient black bin liner which lives the exciting life of a sheepdog. In one episode Black Bag rescues Brotherhood of Man from a well. I could go on and on. I think the psyche of the Bloated Pig is well aligned with that of Viz, off the wall and mad.
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    If I just reach out
  • Desperate DanDesperate Dan
    I can get the fez.
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